I’ll take stress for $400, Alex

Take your pick between two distinct varieties

 

I’d like a heaping bowl of stress please

Image result for stressImage result for stress

Why would I ask for this?  Well, not for reasons that you might think.  When we think of stress, we think of crazy, blood-pressure-increasing, heart-rate-escalating, fever-rising, mood-altering situations.

What stresses you out on a daily basis?  Or in a moment-by-moment basis?  What kinds of things push your button and prompt you to take a step back and regain some composure?  Is it:

Mine?  Traffic.  Grrrr. It’s the only place where I renounce my Christianity in full.  It’s composed of a fever pitch of the worst things on earth: annoying drivers, rampant testosterone, bad choices, and Michael Bolton.  And man – if it’s been a while since I’ve had something to eat?  You’re going down like a clown, Charlie Brown.  I'll look like this:

Image result for gif getting angry

It’s the one place on earth where I desperately long to pick up that sweet wonderful precious habit again.  Smoking.  Yeah.  I covered my love for traffic in a previous blog – so no need to retread here.

Other things that stress me out?  Babies crying.  (Yeah.  We’re dealing with that right now.)  Or toddlers crying right now.  (Uh-huh!  That too.)  Finances can stress me out.

 

Fight stress with stress

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So how do we combat stress?  Sure, Ann Landers and Dear Abby would in yesteryear tell me to master my breathing.   Environmentalists will tell me to go hug a tree.  Religious enthusiasts will tell me to pray it away.  Drill sergeants will bark orders to drop and give them twenty.  Zen masters will breathily whisper in my ear to meditate.  And Mister Rogers will coo in that lull-me-to-sleep-purge-me-of-all-violent-thoughts tamber to make it all go away, which will result in my wanting to harm small animals.

Image result for don't tell me to be calm

But of all of those, I think the Drill sergeant may be on to something?  After all, what’s better to battle stress than stress?

So.  Got distress?  Battle it with eustress.

What’s eustress?  Well I’m so glad you asked!

eu·stress

/yo͞oˈstres/

Learn to pronounce

noun

noun: eustress; plural noun: eustresses

  1. moderate or normal psychological stress interpreted as being beneficial for the experiencer.

In short, it’s something that helps us.  In short, it’s what you and I need.  In short, it’s what my own body has been lacking.

 

A time for self-reflection

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If you’ve been following my blog, you’ll note that we had a newborn on July 12th.  And we’ve been so fortunate, because this newborn doesn’t cry or keep us awake or spit up or whine or resist sleep!  He’s an ANGEL, an absolute sleep-all-the-time-and-never-cry ANGEL!

OK, he’s a moderately annoying angel, because yeah - he does all of that.  But we love him.  Nonetheless, he’s caused disruptions to our:

  • sleep pattern
  • psyche
  • REM cycles
  • sense of peace
  • patience limits
  • anxiety levels
  • anxiety limiters
  • anxiety anxiety

It’s been a wonderful happy disruption, but a disruption nonetheless, because now even our anxiety has anxiety (I'm checking into counseling for it).  As a result, I’m more sedentary, fighting the clock and heart beating with tension wondering if our newest addition is going to wake up before I finish my marketing.  Or that delicious triple-decker meatball sandwich loaded with cheese and grease that is both my utmost desire in that moment and the impetus for this entire blog.  Thus, during the times where’s sleeping and I should be catching up and working out, I’ve been catching up on marketing instead (and meatball sandwiches).

This is where the rubber of my feet will need to meet the road – and I don’t mean the proverbial one.  I need to get out there again and start getting in shape.  I notice it in my breathing, I notice it in the way I carry myself, I notice the tension in my shoulders.

I need a change.  Who’s with me?

 

Get off your duff.  Get off mine too while you’re at it?

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A career in voiceovers means a fairly sedentary life.  When we’re not sitting in the booth recording, we’re sitting editing.  When we’re not sitting editing, we’re sitting marketing. When we’re not sitting marketing, we’re sitting on the couch after work.  When we’re not sitting on the couch after work, we’re sitting at the table eating.  When we’re not sitting at the table eating, we’re sitting in the car.  When we’re not sitting in the car, we’re sleeping in bed.  (Well, except us of course: refer to the news about our baby, above.)

We need to get out and get more active!

So c’mon!  Sound the charge!  Who’s with me?  Can we get off our duffs and get out there and get some oxygen?  We’re deprived enough as it is sitting in there talking to ourselves.  You need air.  It’s underrated.  I need it too.  Let’s get off our duffs and get some exercise and reclaim the body we were destined for.  My body destiny was Chris Hemsworth, but Taco Bell quickly extinguished said destiny.

I need to start juicing.  I need to start pumping weights.  My dog looks at me with that Why why am I not outside why have you stopped walking me was it something I did you hate me I’m a failure of a dog look.  I must do it.

I must do it for Macy.

I’ll take eustress for $400, Alex.

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Joshua Alexander
Seattle Voice Actor & Voiceover Talent for hire
joshua@voicetalentseattle.com
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1 thought on “I’ll take stress for $400, Alex”

  1. I try to bicycle two miles a day when the weather and my health permit. I used to walk it, but I needed lower impact.
    Also, when I use the phrase, “I slept like a baby,” my wife knows I was up every two hours using the restroom and/ or hunting something to eat…

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